Dear Angel Baby: An Open letter to my Baby in Heaven

“…The pleasure for the observer, the beholder, is an invisible current between the two, observed and observer, beheld and beholder,  and I believe that no life is complete, no life is really whole, without this invisible current, which is in many ways a definition of love.” -Jamaica Kincaid The Autobiography of my Mother

To my Angel Baby,

I  wanted to observe you grow into the person you are to be, to watch you live a life of purpose/your birth right. To witness your smile, to wipe away your tears to help you process life’s lessons. To hold space for you to light up a room and grow into your god given gifts. Until I am blessed to be that for you, I find solace in being watched over by you. Knowing that through the looking glass of the cosmos you are holding space for me as I continue to grow in my gifts, heal past my ego and fears, and find peace with the world I move in. You taught me what its like to be whole in the experience of loss and uncertainty/ to experience you in my  body even for a few weeks/ the power of transparency and for that I am in absolute gratitude. Until we can meet again in the physical form, I look forward to hugging you in lucid dreams and playing with you in the invisible current of our Love.

With Love,

Mama

An open letter to process pregnancy loss